#we dont necessarily have to go to the vet for this

[jacqcrisis]

Me, yesterday: Chili, don't get sick please. I don't have an easy way to get you to the vet right now

Chili, waking me up four separate times throughout the night puking: on it boss o7

[yeahponcho]

IGNORE IF THIS IS TRIGGERING

TW: NEGLECT, ANIMAL ABUSE (by previous owner)

We just got a new boy today as a surrender and he is absolutely gorgeous. His name (unofficially still) is FlashBang!!! You can't see it very well because of his lamp but he's a banana boy with tangerine stripes and white lines down his back. He's super malnourished which I'm absolutely devastated about but I'm planning on spending as much time with him as possible. He's a year old and he's only 8 or so inches including his tail which rocks me out to my core. His nails are also double the length but he's a temperamental little glunkrus so I know that's gonna be a challenge. If you have any tips on anything regarding his care PLEASE let me know. I already plan on getting him a salad bowl, ceramic heater, big water dish, and a decent hide that he can grow into. He was sprung on us tonight around 8:30pm and it's now 1:30am the next day so he's definitely getting used to everything and I couldn't get out to a pet store since they were all closed :// ANY advice would be mega appreciated

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oh he's SO small for a year old... poor little guy's been through a lot. I'm glad he's with you now, it sounds like you're committed to doing right by him! I'm just gonna go over a bunch of things I can think of, so apologies if you might already know some of this!

he is malnourished but be sure to introduce food to him slowly, smaller portions at first to let him adjust to having food in his belly. too much at once can be detrimental, too. make sure to be dusting with calcium and a vitamin supplement at least a couple times a week. I like Repashy Calcium Plus personally. here's a great chart I use for food item safety and adding variety to the diet: http://www.beautifuldragons.com/Nutrition.html

I wouldn't worry about his nails right now, let him get settled first. I would recommend taking out the reptile carpet and get some slate tile, especially if its textured on one side he can start to file his nails down naturally just by walking on the tile! repti carpet is very difficult to clean, holds odor and bacteria, and they can get their nails stuck in it. you can get slate tile at hardware stores like Lowe's, and sometimes they can even cut it for you

a hide or two will definitely be excellent, chances are he's gonna be skittish at first while he adjusts so having a place to hide where he feels safe will help him.

try to spend a little time with him each day, talking to him and offering your hand, but not necessarily touching him if he gets worked up. I would also recommend putting his enclosure in an area where he will see you and others walk by, that way he can get used to your presence. even if you just watch TV in the same room where he can see you, it helps normalize your presence in his life. he likely didn't have a whole lot of socializing, so it may take some time, but I think he'll come around.

if you need any advice for lighting, I recommend the T5 fixture and Arcadia 12% UVB https://www.reptilebasics.com/arcadia-desert-12-uvb/arcadia-d3-12-uvb-t5-bulb-22/

this one will be for UVB only! ^

for heat, I recommend a ceramic dome fixture. for the bulb... I've used a variety of things. flood lamps from walmart, fluker's bulbs, etc. as long as you can get a temp range of 95-105 on the basking spot, you should be good.

this is something I learned only recently, but make sure you dont screw the bulb in too tight!! I was told this contributes to premature death of the bulb. I had no idea this entire time. you're only supposed to screw it in just enough that it's not wobbly or going to fall out.

a vet checkup couldn't hurt for this guy, either. if you can get a poop sample in to check for parasites, that'd be really good.

hopefully some of this is helpful to you, and I wish him well! I'd love to see an update on him after he's settled in and doing a little better. I'll be keeping the little guy in my thoughts <3 I know what it's like to have a beardie just given to you randomly and having to scramble to get the right stuff, that's how it was with quinnie. but he's come a long way and he's a lot more friendly than he used to be.

[psychotrope777]

i hope this doesnt sound morbid but i dont think im going to get any new pets until after both of the cats die. if i moved out and left the cats behind (because they are still both my parents' cats), getting another pet would just make me feel like i was "replacing" them and i also dont think we could handle another pet in the household. my parents have barely kept up with getting vet visits and shit for the cats, plus they babysit for my siblings' kids. getting any kind of small animal with two cats around seems incredibly dangerous even if they dont necessarily seem to have high prey drives, and i think getting a dog or another cat would just create a lot of tension. im not even sure if i could handle getting a pet im solely responsible for right now because both of the last two jobs i worked had me out of the house for most of the day + ill be working full-time if i manage to get this warehouse job i just applied for (fingers crossed). i mostly just fantasize about what pets i might potentially get in the future for some reason i feel the need to disclose whenever i talk about getting new pets that if i do get another pet it'll probably be years in the future

[astranite]

I am anyone else who would like to !!!!

1. Do you make your bed?

Nuh cause weighted blanket plus giant doona are too heavy to lift. I did make my bed in terms of I constructed it from a flat pack tho.

2. Favourite number?

42

3. What's your job?

[as above] divine prophet of The Bog (extremely unemployed)

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

I love learning stuff but hell no, school was hell. Every day I am fucking thankful not to be in highschool.

5. Can you parallel park?

Bold of you to assume I can drive.

6. Do you think aliens are real?

Yes, it seems probable but in the little single celled stuff blooping around in cosmic oceans way.

7. Can you drive a manual car?

Only theoretically, chaotically and unlawfully. [no]

8. Guilty pleasure?

I ain't catholic is my policy to guilt from now on. love unhinged fanfic. love seeking spoilers i dont have the context for. selfindulgent writing. anything just for funsies. i am cringe and i am freeeeee

9. Tattoos?

No but I want to mess around with temporary ones because i think tattoos are cool but im chronically indecisive

10. Favourite colour?

all of them. the ocean- blues greens and steel, the sky-purple, pink, orange, bright blue, space- void black and every vivid colour and the ones we cant even see. green of growing things and glow in the dark stars. sunshine yellow. shereshoy orange. [also hiii fellow ginger prev]

11. Favourite type of music?

what ever i jam to. currently i am jamming to the Wombats as above they are a jam.

12. Do you like puzzles?

I fucken Despise jigsaw puzzles. I think oh what a fun activity, i'll do a puzzle. then. begins the next several hours of obsessive hyperfixation and i am Good at puzzles and i cannot stop until the deed is done no matter how much i want to tear myself away as by then ive remembered i fucking hate puzzles. i love puzzles tho they are such fun.

13. Any phobias?

I'm like a violently chill person [truthful] [lying] [sure yeah im person]

14. Favourite childhood sport?

mostly didnt like them because undiagnosed and disabled and it was mostly awful then. but capture the flag i always wanted to play as kid me fancied themself as a battlefield general of strategy no matter that it never panned out [no one would cooperate]

15. Do you talk to yourself?

Yeah im great conversation.

16. Tea or coffee?

black tea with milk. absurdly strong as i forgot to remove the tea bag. gone cold and remicrowaved.

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

A vet cause animals were a childhood special interest. i read all the gory stuff.

18. What movies do you adore?

lotr and the hobbit are great. extended edition is a must. captain america 1 & 2, and captain marvel. Home (2015) my favourite as a kid and now i really want to rewatch it cause oh wow being an alien amongst aliens and then finding others you accept you, those are themes. thunderbirds (2004) [*waves to thunderfam*]

[this is in all likelihood giving a rather unhinged impression of me as a person. this is not necessarily incorrect.]

TAGGING: @itsliterallysophie @iamshmolphrog plus anyoneeeee !!!!!

ty for tagging me tessa @clayvedevs !!!!!!!!!

1. Do you make your bed?

NO. making the bed is evil and also too hard

2. Favourite number?

uhhh UHHHH 12 ? 12 is a good number i liked being twelve. 67 is also a good number !!

3. What's your job?

divine prophet of The Bog (extremely unemployed)

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

yes !!!! i lovee school i lovee learning & my hs? extremely chill

5. Can you parallel park?

yes fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji

6. Do you think aliens are real?

I feel like the possibility that there AREN'T aliens is extraordinarily low, even if they haven't evolved yet or would be completely unrecognisable as a form of life to us. the universe is still comparatively so so young so i feel the chances that at some point in the next quadzillion years that the circumstances of earth won't be replicated at least in part is hugely unlikely

7. Can you drive a manual car?

technically? i learnt to drive in a manual ute that is ABSOLUTELY not roadworthy but i did not get a manual licence :( sort of regret that but im sure if i got back in a manual i could do it again. probably

8. Guilty pleasure?

thinking in depth and forever abt my girl in middle earth oc hobbit fic that i havent properly written since like 2021. she means the WORLD to me i could make it sooo good if i just got over the evil puritans in my head telling me it is cringe

9. Tattoos?

soon!!! one day!!!! trust and believe!!!!!!!

10. Favourite colour?

loveeeeee yellow i love yellow so much soo much. unfortunately i am ginger.

11. Favourite type of music?

idk if i have a favourite TYPE of music persay? but ive sort of been bouncing between a mix of folk rock and Silly Power Metal and i will hit up the odd soundtrack also. wait actually this is untrue i am, embarrassingly, really into hyperpop (UNDERSCORES I LOVE YOU)

12. Do you like puzzles?

yeah! they're kind of evil and i am not great at pattern recognition and they hurt my back. but also v satisfying to do

13. Any phobias?

ants i fucking hate ants i HATE them (i stood in a bullant nest when i was 2) + also maybe thalassophobia? idk though that may have also been cured by the time i played 130 hours of subnautica in a week in december

14. Favourite childhood sport?

touch footie!!! i was very good at it lowk and i miss playing it terribly

15. Do you talk to yourself?

LMAO YEAH. when im thinking about writing especially. or doing literally anything. i will talk to myself

16. Tea or coffee?

TEA I LOVE TEA I LOVE TEA SO MUCH. i cannot drink coffee because The Side Effects + caffeine does not seem to have the intended effect on me, so i don't really drink caffeinated tea that much either? i absolutely LOVE rooibos with honey in it though one million out of ten

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i wanted to be a scientist because i was under the impression that scientists blew things up and that it was exclusively their job to do that. i still want to be a scientist tbh but for different reasons

18. What movies do you adore?

im so normal and regular and fine about the hobbit extended edition trilogy. so normal. no but fr i love unexpected journey i have watched it more than twenty times total and. five times in the last week and a bit LOL

Tagging:

@sithfox @hastalavistabyebye @patchmates @rockcattomato and anyone else who would like to !!!!

[ithisatanytime]

Pure Bathing Culture - Ivory Coast - Audiotree Live

“Thank you Jake, I appreciate your words very much as usual, I have something else important I want to bring to you, what would you say to a woman who wants to have a family but is scared of men because of the way they are portrayed in media and their own negative experiences with men. Sorry I know it's dumb but I want to help my friend and I don't know what to say.”

 no problem im glad i can help, im glad you brought this up by the way, because im close with my younger sister, have been for years, and shes told me over and over again about her misconceptions about men and how if we werent close she would have no idea what men are really like, the negative media thing is real. my sister said that women pretty much believe men dont want families and that they are typically the ones to cheat and leave relationships, when thats just not the case men want families and the “incel” problem is being framed as an issue of men “getting laid” when really getting laid is easy men want something serious they want families somethign to work and live for you know, and statistically women end 90 percent of relationships. im sorry about your friends lived experience, its extremely hard to make a relationship work right now, the people im talking about, that was one of their primary focuses and theyve been doing damage to our courtship rituals for a hundred years now in america. the only good fool proof advice is she should pray about it, for real ask him for anything even if you think its wrong to want, ask him anyway he knows you want it before you ask. this next part is going to sound like more spiritual advice but its as practical as it is spiritual. find a church, any church, but i would recommend a more hippy dippy holy spirity led church as opposed to something more rigid because they are more love oriented and your friend will meet people their who wont be perfect but they at least TRY to keep forgiveness and love in mind as virtues, i know this sounds daunting but i promise you that if nothing else she’ll make some freinds. last piece of advice, if you have a father in your life (very rare now) or an OLDER brother or an older trusted male friend, introduce your romantic interest to him, and ask him what HE thinks. the things that initially attract women to men are things that arent necessarily good for long term prospects, narcissism, socially domineering, men should have some of those things but again vet him through a trusted older man first, he doenst have to pick who you date but if he goes “that dudes a fucking psycho” trust him. 

[eptck]

☭ zionists fuck off ☭

block button is our best friend ( zionists , conservatives , & other fash will b blocked on sight )

play our (WIP) Choose Your Own Adventure story here

and commission us here

we cannot read our asks . please dm us instead . thanks 👍

birdhouse system ( DID ) :

> spencer 🟩 | he/it | trans guy ( human )

> k ⬜️ | she/they | human

> len 🟦 | he/him | trans guy ( human ) | blog ( this is specifically a vent blog . if you're gonna be a dick go somewhere else )

> corvid 🐦‍⬛ | they/he/ve | bird guy/angsty teen

> ku 🐺🪽 | it/its | angel dogthing ( holds angel & beast )

> angel 🪽 | it/its | angel

> beast 🐺 | it/its | dogthing

> don 🐈‍⬛ | it/he | kitty cat !!! miau !!!!!!

> mary 🐑 | he/him | mareep little | blog

> kiri 💜 | she/her | trans digitalgirl kittygirl | blog

> miku ( yes THAT miku ) 🩵 | she/her | girlfag digitalgirl kittygirl

> zyga ( nickname ) 👽 | it/its | alien ( looks like a zygarde fragment )

( any tag with @ and an above emoji is from one alter to another )

some tags we use on this blog ( i'm not editing every single thing here 2 b accurate 2 plurality . jst deal w it ) :

- #vetted - any vetted campaigns relating to liberation struggles in palestine , DRC , sudan , etc. go here !!! check this tag if you want to donate !!!!!!!

- #i reblog every bear i see - bears here

- #long reads - this tag is for posts that are long and may take more mental energy to read

- #long reads ( no paragraph breaks ) - not necessarily a long post , but due to formatting , one that may take some time to get through

- #q - queue

- #saving this for later - for saving posts to look back in later when it’s pertinent

- #self-reblog tag - sometimes i reblog from my other blogs . mostly my art blog . reblog my art, cowards

- #i don’t go here - for when i reblog shit from fandoms i’m not a part of . the individual post is funny but don’t expect more content from that fandom

- #fagdyke hours - anything gender fucky , but mostly those posts talking about “i’m a boy who is a girl” and shit like that . also p much anything that uses the word fag

- #gender envy or something - posts that talk about being a cringe failson pathetic meow meow boy or whatever . posts that talk about being a guy but in the most pathetic way possible . i really wonder what sort of image this paints about me . i hope it makes you want to study me for science

- #this bird speaks - my original text posts go here . i dont do those often tho lol

- #disabledposting - me talking about being physically disabled . i don’t currently have a tag for mental disability

- #hope for the future posts - this tag is for posts that make me feel ok about humanity and the state of things . browse through here if you need some hope

- #important - any information that i believe is important to share / for people to know . this tag overlaps with long reads a lot

- #little magics - posts that make me feel good about the world ! shit doesn’t always suck . i suspect this tag will be a lot of nature and animal posts . look through here if you want for your heart to feel full !

- #corvidsstuff - stuff about corvids . funky little men

- #the human condition ( positive ) - stuff that to me seems fundamentally human . stuff that aliens would view as a hallmark of the species . only the positive stuff tho bc sometimes i like being happy

- #the human condition - same as above but not necessarily positive . not necessarily negative either tho !

- #kill maim bite - grrrrrrr baf baf * bitse you * ( fleshcore / meatcore )

- #blasphemous jokes - jokes about christianity / christian views that defy god

- #serotonin video - good vibes only . will probably mostly be cats tbh

- #My Mechanical Girlfriend - computer4computer . computer sex

- #BEASTLY - sometimes being trans is about killing yourself to the eyes of god and the people who said they loved you and being a monster and being a fallen angel and being evil and being so so so so holy

- #batty !!! - goth shit !!! prob mostly gonna b outfits & moody vibes

- i do my best to tag potential triggers but i forget sometimes / don’t realize someone would b triggered by it, so please lmk if i missed something !

this is an ongoing list which will be updated in future , and most of these tags are relatively new , so many of my older posts will not be tagged according to this list . also i forget to tag things sometimes , so not everything i post will be tagged appropriately

also if anyone knows how to do the thing people do where they underline text n it links to the tag or whatever pls lmk i’m confuse

[eroticcannibal]

Give me ur onions cus we do not have endless money to throw at the vet

So the vet said scarlet is fine.

However she is sleeping far more than is normal (ime) for a cat, and (again ime) for longer periods of time without moving then going back to sleeping. This could be a result of being exhausted from whatever happened before we got her. Might not be. Might even be normal. Idk.

She also moves her back legs slightly oddly. Its hard to notice because it is only slightly. It does not impede her in any way, it just looks a little bit off. Not even in a way I can really describe. It doesnt even necessarily look bad its just weird.

Anyway. Idk what to do. Given I'm not noticing any "vet NOW" red flags i kinda wanna wait a bit and see if this all resolves itself. But also I dont even know if its a problem or if I'm being an idiot.

[fadewalking]

This is coming out of nowhere i guess but I've been trying to just unpack my feelings about the trend of people @ing blogs like isthecatvideocute or whatever critter a video is featuring, in every single video with a cat regardless of the actual content. And this really isnt meant to be a dig at those kinds of blogs, especially the cat one because I've so far never disagreed with any of their judgements and they seem to do at least a little bit of research into answering questions. But something about this entire thing is discomforting to me. And i think in part, it's the blind faith and like.... absolute authority that the general public seems to give these blogs. And not just absolute authority but like.. necessary absolute authority, which i think is what truly bothers me. Like, I've seen videos of the most benign things. Cats just walking around, or playing with something, completely unbothered in any way, and in the comments I'll see an @ for that blog and im just like.... why.....

And sometimes they'll even say why. And usually it's just because they "think it's probably fine but just want to make sure." And it's these type of statements that, which obviously well intentioned, really don't sit right with me, for two reasons.

First and most obviously, the whole blind faith thing. I appreciate that the good folk who run that cat blog genuinely seem to be invested in making sure the advice they give is as accurate as they can give it. Even if that advice is to "go see a vet". But the fact is that none of the people who run that blog are animal experts, at least that isnt advertised on their blog from what i saw. If im wrong about this, then sorry, but the issue still applies to other similar blogs who are just run by regular nonexperts who may or may not even have personal experience in owning whatever creature it is as a pet. For the cat blog specifically, they do say that they all have years of experience owning cats. So that's great, but who's to say that the blog owner of is-the-capybara-video-cute has ever even seen one irl? (Im going to assume that's not a real blog, since i just picked a random animal as an example. Sorry if that is a real blog, and sorry if the blog owner is rad) what im saying is i dont think we should be giving the advice of non-experts the weight of opinion that should be afforded to an expert. I dont have a problem with these blogs existing or people asking them questions, but i just dont think we should be thinking of their word as beyond reproach.

Secondly i don’t like this idea that a lot of people seem to have that we NEED to get Cat Blog to weigh in on a video in order to feel guilt free about enjoying it, if there's nothing outstanding as a potential bad thing. Which i get is a kind of tricky thing for me to feel, because certainly there are some things that are bad for cats that most people think of as benign, or wouldn't even know to question. And i know that being overcautious comes from a place of concern for the welfare of the animal. And even if they arent experts, i get that there's still a place for blogs like that, and it's not necessarily WRONG to seek their advice. But also. I feel like we should be using our own judgment and critical thinking skills whenever we view any piece of media. We shouldn't need permission to appreciate or dislike every single thing that comes across us. If there is clearly nothing wrong, we shouldn't be asking. If there clearly IS something wrong (like a video where someone yeets their cat across the room or something wild like that) we shouldn't be asking. It just feels like there's no boundary. If a cat is in it, it has to get the Cat Blog stamp of approval. And these cat blog people could be anybody! (But again they seem lovely.) That is my issue.

Tl;dr: Think for yourselves. Do your own research. Go to an advice blog if something is ambiguous or unclear, and leave the end all, be all judgments to the experts.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

hi ash! i know you said before that you're not autistic you just did a lot of research to depict chris realistically- do you have any advice for finding resources on writing disabled characters that isn't like... horribly abelist? im writing someone with an intellectual disability from head trauma and who is nonverbal, and i want to get it right but everything online seems very autism-speaks-y. im autistic and semiverbal but i dont have an id and i want to be realistic and respectful.

I cannot speak with any expertise or sense of speaking from enough experience to be taken as an expert here, and defer as always to those with lived experience with intellectual disability!

But I will give a few more general tips for what to do when looking to write a character with a neurological makeup that doesn’t match your own, as far as what has worked for me with Chris:

1. The story should never be ABOUT their lived experience if you do not also have it. Chris’s story is not about autism, or being autistic. I would never presume to try and write a story like that because, whatever my intentions, I don’t have that knowledge that comes from living it. I would at BEST be taking the experiences of others, their voices. At worst, I would be someone standing with a megaphone shouting over those who deserve to be heard.

Making the disability what the plot revolves around is... generally just not going to be a good idea, in any sense. It’s moments like this where I feel like it’s best to defer to the writers who have lived it, instead. 

This is not to say “never write someone different than yourself”, because... I don’t think that’s at all good advice. I think that way lies stunted writers who never push themselves. But it does mean “do not center the story on this thing if you have not experienced it and don’t have that knowledge and understanding”.

2. At the same time, don’t try to be coy or dance around or hide the disability behind purple prose or refuse to acknowledge its reality. Trying to make a disability sound cute, or talk around it instead of speaking it out loud, can be minimizing or shaming in ways that I think it’s easy to miss, if you don’t live with that disability yourself! To me, this touches on one of my hugest pet peeves - characters who are written as having a particular neurodivergence in media, or shown on tv, but they never expressly admit to it or name it. 

I know I hesitated with Chris, more because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a diagnosis until I understood autism better myself, and I do regret how long it took me to embrace that reality about him. I just thought it better to err on the side of researching before I embraced. But I do feel some guilt about waiting so long when I had readers who were identifying so heavily with him, and I kind of knew, but just didn’t feel comfortable owning it yet.

3. On a related note - disabilities in a story that become melodramatic tragedy or turn the disabled character into a ‘redemption story’ for an abled character. This is so, so prevalent in common media and pop culture and once you recognize it for what it is, it’s so hard to not see it in so many places. Think of how many movies, novels, etc contain a disabled character who exists to teach abled people some virtuous lesson about living life to the fullest or ‘what it really means to be human’ blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t do that. Please. (I mean, I kind of feel like you definitely won’t, but I’m just speaking very generally here). If you find the story going in a direction in which abled people learn something from the disabled person, please think very carefully and critically as to why the story is heading in that direction.

Language alone can also be a problem here - think about the difference between openly describing a character moving around their life with a wheelchair vs. calling them “wheelchair-bound” or “reliant on a cane”, when the cane or wheelchair may actually represent freedom to that person - an aid they need, yes, but one that allows them to live with far more agency than they might have had otherwise. 

To describe them, especially from their own POV, as “wheelchair-bound”, may ring false to disabled people who understand that the wheelchair isn’t a cage, but a tool that allows that individual person to feel less caged by being able to more freely leave home.  

(This varies person to person, just providing an example)

4. Educate. Research. And don’t just do so by asking people with disabilities to tell you their stories. I often express gratitude to the autistic readers, those with ADHD, etc who spoke up about Chris, talked about their own experiences, identified with him, found him very resonating for aspects of their own lives. 

These stories, this information, this sharing of their lives was given freely to me, and I’m fucking amazed and grateful for how welcomed Chris was, and how willing readers were to share about themselves when talking about him.

Their willingness to speak about these things is something I treasure. But I absolutely would never believe that a single person owed me the story of their life to make sure I got Chris right. That was my responsibility, you know? I try to keep in mind the concept of ‘emotional labor’. Asking a disabled person to be your resource is asking them to give, and give, and give of themself. They may want to give you that kind of labor, they may not. But I definitely wouldn’t ask it of anyone without understanding it was something they were happy or felt comfortable giving.

Research, on the other hand, is essential. You mentioned things being “autism speaks-y” when trying to research on your own, and oh god, do I feel you. It sucks that autism speaks is the first thing to pop up when trying to research the lives of autistic people - and in my research, I was lucky to already know AS sucks and write them off and anyone who heavily referenced them as not helpful. I can see how someone might not know that, though, and stumble on them and believe they were a helpful resource for writing autism when they... well. Nope. 

Try to think about the express disability you are writing for this person, and why, and then go research! I looked up “books on autism recommended by autistic people”, and found some invaluable books, yes, but also papers published online, websites, etc! Each of them vetted and looked over and recommended by autistic people, so I knew I was getting information that came from people with those experiences and that understanding. A good example - I picked up a book on the history of diagnosis and treatment of autism in the United States, mentioned it here, and @redwingedwhump recommended a book called Neurotribes... which turned out to be immensely more helpful, spot-on, and provided some really excellent foundational information I wouldn’t have found in the first book at all.

There’s a lot of information out there on Traumatic Brain Injuries and their lasting effects on individuals who receive them, so I would start there. What you’re describing sounds like a TBI with lasting effects! So I would start your research there, and also look up being nonverbal separately, as well as combining the two. Make sure you’re not just looking at the top links - often paid ads or problematic organizations that are able to pay more for better exposure - but also scanning for blogs, nonprofits, lived-experiences stories, too.

I found a lot of information on the second or even third page of results i would never have seen if I only stuck to the first. Remember the algorithm on search engines is usually showing you what other people are clicking on, not necessarily the best source.

5. This is one you the asker already know, but I want to include it for general reasons: do not ‘dumb down’ the thought processes of a nonverbal or semi-verbal person. I see this in fiction surprisingly often, and I think it’s this sense we have as abled people (’we’ just meaning I’m including myself) that being verbal is required to have a highly complex thought process, and it’s... it’s just fucking not. Speech and though are related but not completely wound around each other, and the ability to verbalize is not the same as the ability to think. 

Like I said, I know you know this, asker, but it’s something I see in fiction/media and it drives me up the wall. So I wanted to include it.

6. For the love of God, do not use medical terminology unless you actually know what you’re doing/talking about. Many disabled people or those with serious medical conditions become what amounts to experts on their own diagnoses, because they have to. They have to be experts to receive the care they should be able to rely on. If you constantly fuck up terminology - trust me - it will be noticed, and it will take people out of the story or hurt their ability to suspend disbelief while reading.

There are ways to do medical scenes/conversations with doctors that avoid falling into this problem! I would just be very very careful to heavily research before using any complex terminology.

7. This disabled person does not exist to evoke pity. They are a human - nuanced and multi-layered - living their life, and their story should always, always reflect that. I don’t really have anything else to add to that.

I would love to hear further advice from anyone with anything else to add.

[dingusships]

(very) long vent post, heavy discussion of animal death, death in general, grief //

so i haven't talked about it bc i haven't been active on tumblr much & i dont feel comfortable posting it anywhere else so i'll give a short rundown. my dog, lucy, turns 15 on the 25th - that's obviously a very long time and i'm so grateful to have had her this long. a few months ago she started having issues with coughing, and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

we've been giving her meds to keep it managed but we've had to steadily increase it after 2 or 3 scares. 2 nights ago, she started having problems again, and it was so worrying that my parents used the after-hours emergency call in meetup at her vet at 1 in the morning. she spent all the next day there getting stabilized, and she spent last night there as well so they could monitor her after they stabilized her. we visited her yesterday during the day and she was in good spirits luckily but you can tell she's tired overall.

she's home now, feeling better, but the vet explained and showed how far along her condition has progressed. He said she's stable now but if/when this happens again, we'll be doing her a favor by having her put to sleep at that point. He's given her a bunch more meds to make her comfortable while we spend time with her for however long that may be.

so that's the rundown.

I'm absolutely gutted and devastated, and I don't know how to handle it or cope or make it easier to face. I'm scared, I'm scared of her suffering, and this is utterly pathetic and cowardly to admit but I'm scared of being near her. It's like if I face her the situation will be all the more raw and real. I want to spend every second with her, I need to and want to so bad but it's like at the same time I'm trying to distance myself from the reality of the situation and keep from hurting worse. I'm the one primarily doing her meds, feeding her, taking her out to use the bathroom, making sure she's comfortable etc so it's not like I'm *actually* giving into those fears. I'd like to think she notices I'm doing good for her esp since classes aren't keeping me busy anymore and I have time to now.

Seeing her condition degrade is horrible and weighing on me, it's so heartbreaking and scary to see her try to be her old self but not have the energy to. I'm constantly terrified of something sudden happening that causes her pain and distress. That we'll have waited too long to give her a humane ending and we couldn't have gotten to the vet in time.

Logically I know that whenever the time comes and we take her in, she won't be suffering at all anymore. The worst will be over and there won't be any more dread and agony of knowing what's to come. But despite knowing those objective facts, and being told + telling yourself that to try to comfort yourself, it just... you can't logic your way out of the emotions that come from losing someone you love, animal or human. It's tearing me apart to see her suffer and it's tearing me apart to know she'll be gone.

I'm scared of the possibility that the last view I have of her is her in the vet's office whenever the time comes. I know people always say to go in and stay in-person when you have to do this, even if you know it crushes you, but I really don't think I'm strong enough to handle it.

I couldn't do it with my cat, but I did give my parents a shirt of mine to take in for him to smell. That helped a lot in giving me peace. The part of me trying to protect myself is saying to do that again with my dog. The other part of me that puts her first knows that I owe it to her to be in there when it happens after 15 years together. But I just don't know if I could handle witnessing her pass away. I know it would be very traumatic for me

It's the same thing when it comes to people's funerals I've gone to. I look like a tool when I do this but I cannot bring myself to partake in the viewing. I want my last memory of whoever it was to be as how I knew them alive. Even for, well especially for my grandparents when theirs happened. When I think about people I've lost, even if we didn't have a super close relationship I want the last time I remember their faces to be when they were alive and doing whatever it is they normally do. Not what they look like lifeless. I just know that would be so traumatic for me and I'd never be able to get the image out of my head. If they're alive in my memories then it's...easier to cope. Like they never really "died"... but just...left

I say "cope" but i don't know if trying my hardest to forcing down every negative feeling that acknowledges the reality of the situation, and end up also trying to distance myself from any prior positive memories in (feeble) attempts to not feel any sense of loss whatsoever is necessarily "coping".

[creekfiend]

Ive been thinking a lot about breed specific behavior traits and how they aren't always, or even usually, revealed by phenotype in mixed breeds. I usually see this brought up in the context of how useless breed specific legislation is, bc a dog can "look" like a pit mix or bully breed and not be. But the flip -- and imo even more dangerous -- side of that is that a dog can EASILY not look anything like a pitbull and actually be a pit mix, and have some really really dangerous behavior and temperament traits to go along with that that no one would guess from just looking.

Julia is a pit mix with several other bully breeds thrown in there and she looks absolutely nothing like a pitbull. She has a thick double coat and short legs and pointy ears and snout and most vets put her in their system as "corgi mix" before we had her tested. But she ACTS like a bully mix! A dog that looks like Julia could easily end up in a shelter system in an area with BSL and potential adopters would think that because of the laws and her appearance there was no way the dog they were adopting would have those behavior traits, but they would be wrong. Dangerously wrong, in this case!

I feel like there are 9000x more anecdotes floating around online that are like "my pit mix wouldnt hurt a fly" than anecdotes that are like "yeah my dog has tried to kill other dogs" for several reasons, one being that most people have not necessarily realistic views of their pets' temperaments and like to assume that because they love their pet, it would never do something that really frightens them. Another is that people who have pit mixes who ARE aggressive feel ashamed, like it reflects poorly on their character that they were not somehow able to magically change behavior traits that have been bred into a type of dog for like a hundred years. Like if your dog tries to murder other dogs you must not love it enough! or something.

Its true that sometimes training and socialization are neglected in these situations and this contributes to the problem but the fact is sometimes you have a dog and it just ... has behaviors that were bred into it. And those behaviors are not compatible with a life that does not involve murdering other dogs on purpose. I SAY THIS BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A DOG, NOT BC I AM TRYING TO BE MELODRAMATIC ABOUT SECRET EVIL PITBULLS. i love my dog very much but she absolutely not only has VERY high dog aggression,  but she has that bully/terrier trait of getting "locked in" to attack/kill mode where getting her out of that mode again is insanely difficult, that tenacity and "gameness" that not all DA dogs have that makes DA a trillion times worse.

I call this "dark adhd" (ITS A JOKE BECAUSE I RECOGNIZE THAT KIND OF HYPERFOCUS IN MYSELF, just... not in the context of attempted murder) and I think it is even more relevant to the potential dangerousness of bully breed mixes than DA is bc i have known many dogs with DA but WITHOUT the dark adhd who mostly growl or snap at other dogs, or sometimes initiate fights but are able to cycle fairly quickly BACK OUT OF FIGHT MODE. Dogs who have been bred to have that "gameness" on top of the DA? holy shit. Guys when Julia goes after another of our dogs I can be physically removing them from the area and she will leap into the air to try to drag them back down to kill. I just pick Ella the dachshund mix up out of her range when they get into fights and Julia without fail does desperate dolphin leaps into the air to try to latch on and drag her back down. She just latches on and goes for Kill. A switch gets flipped in her brain and she VISIBLY is just like... in murder mode.

Training and socialization have resulted in a dog that doesnt go into this mode often. Julia lives in a household with a LOT of other dogs and 99% of the time she tolerates them quite well. She only stumbles when she is in really high stress situations (like right after a really long move, say...) and it isnt something that has ever resulted in tragedy because we are careful to manage it (and frankly also because we have been lucky. I feel like being lucky, or unlucky, is an underdiscussed element of this whole thing lol)

But when she DOES go into that mode.. holy shit

Anyway this is long and kind of rambley but. Bully breeds have Dark ADHD and pit mixes dont always look like pit mixes. Is my takeaway

[mysmedrabbles]

RFA Boys with Kids (Elementary School MC Works at Edition)

requested: by anonymous (with special request to make jumins the most prominent its not my fault for once guys!!!)

a/n: i think in 4th grade we had an astrologist come to our class and talk about the moon and stuff and he was terrifying cuz he sat on my desk the whole time but it was super cool and talked about the world imploding!!

if you want to support my fluff writing, buy me a coffee!

warnings: hhhh flüüf

-happy! mod alex

Jumin

-It was your guys’ 3 year anniversary, and Jumin insisted on picking you up directly after work, eager to spend every second of the next 96 hours with you, especially since you Insisted on going to work, unable to leave your precious second graders with a substitute, especially not on the last day before spring break!!!

-he’d always avoided going to your school, not because he hated kids he just... feared them.

-yes, Jumin Han, director of C+R Internationals only fear was jam-handed children. dont get me wrong, it wants a fear as in “run away screaming,” more he was afraid that anyone under the age of 10 would be intimidated and cry when he spoke. the rfa already made enough fun of him, he didn't need more rejection in his life

-sadly (for him, luckily for us), he forgot the time you got out of school, ending upside your classroom about two hours earlier

-he stops dead in his tracks, hand stopped midway to a knock as a bouquet of roses hid behind his back as he looks at the 20 or so 7 year olds staring at him with bright questioning eyes

-he tries to escape and back out of the class before you notice him, but you immediately see him, face lighting up as you bound towards him happily, throwing your arms around him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling him into the class, introducing him as your husband 

-a part of him likes that, the idea of not having to be “CEO” or “Mr. Han,” simply your husband

-he’s fairly awkward especially seeing as he’s so tall compare to these little Jam-Handed Monsters?? ... maybe they weren’t monsters... they were kind of cute actually...

-when you take out all the flowers from the bouquet, giving each student a flower instead, he can feel his heart melting, the first smile forming at the corners of his mouth as he sees you so bright and happy, and the way you rect upon seeing the kids own smiles

- “Everyone say Thank You Mr. Han!”     followed by a chorus of “Thank you Mr.Han!!!)

-he wants to protect all these kids from all the bad in the world

-luckily, he came in time for story time, and after you slyly suggest him being the other reader, the expectant and loud children agreeing with you made him do it, doing silly cartoon voices for the characters he portrayed

-Jumin sitting on the Elementary School Rug, the one with the alphabet and boxed colours on it where everyone should sit, his expensive $700 suit wrinkling as he tries his best to kneel down and be to the kids level

-theyre not as scary as he thought! and every time he saw them really... it filled him with a sense of protectiveness he didn’t know he had for anyone outside of his immediate family 

- “MC... lets start a family together” 

Yoosung

-he came over for career day! being a successful vet straight out of college took skills, hence the idea that he come around to the school

-he’s really sweet with the kids, and laughs awkwardly when they ask about his and your relationship, getting flustered and immediately switching the topic to something cute Lisa did

-he can’t spend a lot of time with them because he has to get back to the office, but he also doesn’t spend a lot of time on lecturing them on his job, opting to do some colouring pages with them instead

-shy bean, he’s not necessarily the one to jump into action with them, (lets be honest, second graders are terrifying), but the class likes him, and sometimes he brings Lisa around, which blows their minds

-he’s kind, and being in the presence of Lisa he suddenly becomes so comfortable, smile forming on his face as he teaches a particularly curious girl how to properly respect a cats space, violet eyes brightening up immediately with pure joy

-supportive, and bb kit doesn’t seem to mind, even getting comfortable on some of the kids backpacks

-they all love his white lab coat, and take turns trying it on

-he almost dies of cute overload when on boy holds up his arms proudly, letting the (way too large) sleeves of the coat drop to the floor as he grins widely 

Seven

-volunteers for Everything

-field trip in need of chaperones? special school events need volunteers? kids birthdays? he’s there for all of them no matter what

-he loves being present with them, a part of him feeling healed as he gets to have a glimpse of a childhood he never had, the future he would want his children to have some day

-no matter how silly it may seem, he’s the type to sit with a crying kid until theyre smiling and feeling better, telling the child little jokes and stories until they feel better, making sure to listen to their issue and support them, making sure that they know that their feelings are valid.

-everyone loves Seven in your class! he’s become a cryptid in the school, as the only people that ever actually see him is your class, and no one in the other classes is going to believe the story that theres a red-headed man with funky glasses bringing cupcakes for everyone 

-he tells the most embarrassing stories about you to the kids, reveling in your embarrassment 

-he gets more sad than anyone else when the school year is over, having gotten very attached to your class, where he almost cries as he wishes them a good summer

Zen

-the first time he visited your school was when you’d forgotten your lunch at home, only dropping a sweet hello to the class as he rushes to work

-he doesn’t initially has plans to come back, but a certain few students had become completely enraptured by Zens presence, and wanted to know when the “pretty weird eyed man” would be back

-he loves coming to your school, always conducting fun sing-a-longs as 20 or so 7 year olds gather around him

-having him in the class is more of a disruption, someone who’s fun to hang out with and with him, you know that no one’s going to be doing any work no matter what you say

-more than anything, he loves how the two of you will team up to help a students problem, and sometimes,, if he blocks out the rest of the world... he can imagine that that’s your child

-he’s got insane paternal instincts, and Will Not Stand For anyone getting hurt

-being at the school and seeing you at work and being around children.. really makes him crave that sense of family, building a family with you, the love of his life and being,,, well, happy.

-he lets the children play with and braid his hair, letting them even put flowers in it if they want

-a big ole softie, just wants to know everyone is happy

[sa2chaogarden]

i dont have anything in mind exactly but i think maybe what they'll be doing in post-canon? like how's their life, where would they live, maybe even a random fact!! i love ur ocs :D

thank you so much lulu! ily. but ah

i think its obvious that wheatley goes into culinary arts, specifically with a focus on pastries like...i see him not necessarily owning a bakery but playing a big role in some local shop that makes everything from scratch. i’m sure he’s looked at high tech fancy places that are like $30 for a slice of cake and could probably work there with what he can do, but it just doesn’t feel right to him. sometimes making bread at 4am is a calling.

a lot of micah’s storyline is focused in not knowing what direction he’s headed or what he really wants to do seriously, but i don’t think i’ll ever really address occupation in the main story line but omg...i’m stuck on micah being an elementary school teacher. like first graders. i’m also absolutely stuck on him landing a job within the same school district wheatley’s mom works in (she’s a kindergarten teacher and probably an amazing reference) like...he’s amazing with kids he just...doesn’t know it yet. he probably goes takes education classes just for some elective, really the idea of teaching...thinks maybe high schoolers at first, ends up only being able to TA elementary kids...he now cannot think of teaching any other age group. (i’ve given him the most thought akdjlasdjk can you tell?)

i haven’t really decided on what esther does when she’s older. i feel like she travels a lot and probably takes pictures and writes articles for a magazine...maybe even her own magazine. she seems like she could independently run some sort of photography travel blog or run her own small photography studio.

i’m still trying to decide what rome wants to do in canon. i originally wrote her as being very much into being a vet and super studious and does a lot of volunteer work, but when we first meet her, it doesn’t make sense for her to have that much motivation, she’s honestly at a very low point in her life and in a rut, not really seeing life beyond just getting through each day, and obviously things get much better for her as the story progresses, but i haven’t found out what fits for her yet. 

honestly i want quinn to go back to school and study horticulture, or just work with plants in some way. they find a passion within gardening and keep so many plants around the house. i feel like they would have a small garden of vegetables and have a little stand in their front yard or sell them at a farmers market or even just give veggies away to friends and family. maybe they end up in a flower shop of sorts...just enjoying the hell out of gardening.

[lilnasxvevo]

TFw my probable hypochondria spreads to concerns about MY CAT and the fact that I saw him chew on a day lily 10 hours ago has me crying at 3 am even though the websites I found said that symptoms set in within 0-12 hours and it’s been 10.5 hours so he probably would have had symptoms by now and besides usually when he eats things his tummy doesn’t like he throws them up pretty quick (sometimes we let him go outside for supervised trips and he eats grass and pukes it up between 1-6 hours later—today he got out by accident and I turned my back for 2 seconds and he was suddenly near the daylilies that the previous owners planted in the house we’ve lived in for less than a month).

I’m just really really scared because my anxiety in the past few months has had me really scared about my loved ones dying and that very much includes this cat, who is 12 years old and has already outlived his littermate Shadow by 3 years and she was considered healthier than him so what is he still doing here???

Some of the websites I read said if you see a cat NEAR a lily plant, you should take it to the vet straight away. My parents discouraged this even hours later when I found information that said NOT EVEN INGESTING the plant, just chewing on it, can fuck up a cat real good.

I just don’t want to find his cold little body in the morning because I didn’t do enough. You know I talk all the time about how he’s the sweetest nicest cat in the world and I don’t want to lose him. I’ve already had a cat die from kidney damage (under very different circumstances) and it fucking sucked.

Like, as you can see, he’s literally fine right now—he doesn’t have any of the listlessness, drooling, or vomiting that are listed as the symptoms of lily poisoning.

But the websites also say that the prognosis is best for cats that receive treatment within 18 hours. And that’s 11 am. And if they ARE sick and you don’t get them in within that time the prognosis is very very very grim.

Sorry. I just had to get this out somewhere because my parents keep putting me down for being concerned about this (they’re probably right but they’re also like being condescending about it like jddjkssk I KNOW IM NUTS BUT I STILL DONT LIKE IT WHEN MY FEELINGS ARE INVALIDATED) and I don’t want to burden any of my friends with this because a lot of my closest friends have met this sweet boy on multiple occasions and they love him too and also I just don’t want to make anyone deal with how unreasonable I’m probably being.

I had to put this somewhere. Because my anxiety levels are about 3% away from stress puking. I don’t know if this has necessarily made my anxiety levels any lower. But.

Idk. My mom and my sister have both pulled all-nighters to be with animals that were sick or scared or uncomfortable. So I feel like they can’t really fault me if/when they found out I have stayed up until 3:36 am at this point (it will probably be much longer) just monitoring him for symptoms. Like I said, I don’t want to have not done enough.

The thing is, though, I slept very poorly last night, and now I have not slept at all tonight. So 1) that is not doing great things for my stress/anxiety levels and I understand that I probably wouldn’t be crying if I was better rested and 2) my body being what it is, staying up with him is going to make me really sick.

Worth it, though.

Ok, he wandered off somewhere while I was writing this so I’m being a bad cat dad so off I go

[xphanuel]

Why do my cats bully each other

They dont get into actual fights but?? One of my 8 cats will be laying down, minding their own business, and then whoever is feeling spicy that day will pin/bite whoever is already on the floor

I dont understand? And then if I try to break it up, the angery cat will just go and try to do it to someone else. Idk my cats are odd.

It may be some sort of dominance thing due to how small our house is, but a that's the only thing I can think of, besides them just feeling frisky and wanting to cause trouble for troubles sake. I know all of my animals are relatively stressed out, but I try to compensate for it by giving them all singular undivided attention and affection when they want it, and playing with them for a long time all together as a group.

As much as I love all three of my foster cats probably more than I can ever bond with my own cats; I need my friend to take them back. I'm going to miss them so fucking much, beyond belief. My 5 cats arent affectionate like these 3. They dont like to be held or cuddled necessarily and they dont come when you call them. The fosters? FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE. I leave the room? Pat pat pat pat, ozzy is behind me. 24 7. I go into my room? Shimmer is at the door meowing. I leave the bathroom door open? Da'bebel (lennon) is inside with me immediately. They also all have nicknames I gave them that caught on, and it's going to kill me when I cant scream "dabebel!!!" Anymore. (My mom wouldnt call her lennon, and she was a kitten, so she called her "the baby", which devolved into "duh-beh-bul")

Idk. I wish our house wasnt so shitty. And I wish we werent in debt rn to pay off my dental and vet bills so I could build a cattery for all of them. Those little chirp barks they do at the birds make my heart break. Stop ekekekekeeke'ing at them pls ur hurting me

I cant let them outside bc theyve been inside their whole lives and I really dont trust them outside when I have to save multiple cats from their own claws being stuck to things??? They dead ass just scream and look at me for help and I'm like?? THESE ARE YOURS, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THEM??? BRUH

My first cat echo is literally going to be 8 and still has this problem

Idk I needed to talk about my cats for a hot sec, welcome to my void where i free write and post it here only to forget about it .2 seconds later

[uncloseted]

i agree with your statement about zoos. it's valuable to have good zoos that put the focus on conservation efforts and wellbeing, but some are bad. however about the cat thing, i dont really think cats should leave if they want. you put them in uncomfortable situations when u take them to a vet but its necessary for their health. an unhappy cat will show it but letting them leave would be bad for them to struggle on the streets afraid and confused by the unfamiliar world. yeah sorry for the rant

Anonymous asked:

i hope the cat comment wasn't meant to be disrespectful for you ^^ animals/pets are sentient and have their own personality and emotions but they don't have the exact cognitive abilities as us. like children, we need to protect them even if they don't really like it (going to the doctor/vet, going to school). indoor cats are not going have survival skills as a feral and they are territorial so your home is their territory so i dont think you should let them out free. sorry im kind of passionate

No worries! I think I meant it more like, "if they're unhappy, cats are more likely to run away than dogs are because they know they can survive." But also, where I am it's pretty common to have cats that are indoor/outdoor cats. Basically, they live inside and are fed but can go outside or roam when they want to, so they're exposed to what it's like to live on the streets. It's not necessarily great for them because depending on where a person lives it can be dangerous, but people do it because it's supposed to be better for their cognitive and emotional health.